Saturday, February 27, 2010

Sunset poop

Surprisingly, that poop did not irritate much at all! Came out smoothly and quickly (no, not in that way you gross people) and it was actually quite pleasant! Although the toilet here is at an awkwardly high position, like in the I'm 5 years old and my feet don't entirely touch the ground kind of way. Its not my ideal pooping height but I'll settle. I'm over it. But anyways, time to socialize. Peace!!

- JMH

Hairy Ape Poops

So I managed to find the bathroom in CFA. I'm about to see fellow poop blog contributor Blueman St. Swing in his show, The Hairy Ape. So now I'm thinking, wouldn't it be fun if we pooped like apes...and, you know, threw feces at each other? Is that what the show is about? I'm tempted not to flush and just bring my turds with me so I can participate in the show. Sound good Adam?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

that heavy feeling

Hi all,

I've been busy the past few days, hurrying around trying to do this and that but I just got out of my PDP class and iLm feeling nice and loose. While running on the track this morning I started thinking about how great it feels when you update the blog and leave the bathroom feeling lighter. It's an odd sensation, must be akin to what amputees feel after a limb is removed (except they can have that weird thing where they can still feel it...ick). Anyways I submit to you that that feeling of sudden lightness is on of the best feelings in the world and you can take that to the bank (or the bathroom). That's right Jenny Craig, eat your heart out. Pooping. Makes you feel great, tell your friends.

-Sir Ian

Monday, February 22, 2010

pooping from around the world

today i drank a lot of gassy beer and pooped for a while. in new zealand.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

never eat taco bell with

never eat taco bell with a frappuccino

love,
my anus

Senior Design Shits

So I'm sitting in the bathroom outside of Ingalls (on a Saturday), thinking about how much I hate my senior design project. But now that I think about it, it's kind of like pooping. It takes awhile and it's not always fun. You have to push through the tough parts. Youspendmostof the time on internet blogs (hey that's the name of the show!). Everytime you squeeze one out you feel great and relax for a minute. By the time you're done, you feel awesome and all that's left is the cleanup.
Anyway, I thought it was a great comparison. Hey, that one even looks like our pontoon!
Until next time.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

First Post

Since it's my first entry, I'm gonna go with a classic:

"Here I sat, broken-hearted,
tried to shit, but I only farted.
I clinched my cheeks, held my knees,
and out came Taco Bell's meat and cheese."

-Celine Dion

Aren't her lyrics just heartwarming? Alright I made those last two lines up, but they were appropriate, since I ate Taco Bell twice yesterday. That's all for now. Stay classy, and wash your hands, you gross motherfucker.

-Eric

"Reading a Magazine"

Totally don't understand why Marshall is so ashamed of pooping at Goliath National Bank. If ya gotta go, ya gotta go, right?! I mean I would feel terrible if I had to wait until after work to poop especially while my lovely turd is prairie-dogging its way out. Anyways, next time I'm pooping at work, I'm so bringing a magazine.

And the snow outside was so pretty after it stopped snowing! As I walked to Belinda's I took a picture of a tree with snow all on the branches. Currently my background on my phone. Yeaaaaaa!!

Oh hey, I need to wipe. Peace out, home skillets!!

-JMH

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Snow Day!

My it is snowy day out today!

The snow in Boston is supposed to go on until 10pm tonight, Boston readers, so stay warm.

And as I prepare to venture out into the blizzard, I paused for a moment in the library to take a poop. Let the relaxtion of evacuating your bowels to calm you and motivate you because even though it's a shitstorm outside now, it's better than the shitstorm you just released

Peace, love, and poop

Jur

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Post-Tech Show Dumplings

Oh wow, what a weekend. After performing in 3 shows within a matter of about 30 hours, I finally get some alone time to update the blog. There were moments backstage when I was like "damn, I really need to drop the kids off at school now!" But couldn't because I had to go onstage in about 2 minutes. And then eventually I'd just forget! Crazy, I know. As I now contemplate what my costume for HIFBISS is going to be

-grunt- ahhhhhh

I have to say "wow, it has been such an amazing ride this past month!" To all of whom were and will always be in my life, yall be awesome!!

Let's get cruuuunk!!!!

-wipe-

Peace my other dumplings,

JMH

Amazing Race, Not so amazing poops

So today Josh, Carling, Ian ,Taylor, Dani and I ran BU's Amazing Race. And let me tell you, after only chugging water bottles all day and drinking two FitRec smoothies, my poop is anything but solid. I ran the race an now I have the runs.

-jur

Friday, February 12, 2010

Tech Show

Definition: The Tech Show
A show where the techies act, the actors tech and the director poops in the lobby bathroom during Act II.
Show up for the midnight show where all of that happens on stage.

Y'all Are About To Get English Major'd

Good Afternoon Fellow Poopers,

Reading through the various poop blogs, I have begun to wonder to myself: What is my place in the poop blog community? What purpose can I serve? How can I find my niche in the world of bowel movements? I thought long and hard about this -- through an entire Contemporary Drama class this morning -- and I came to a conclusion. Unlike the rest of the blogers listed here, I am an English Major. Therefore it is my duty to blog about my feces in a way only an English Major can: pretentiously, with a stick up my ass, and generally aloof to the world around me. Henceforth, I call to the great muses and ask them to imbue in me a sense of profoundness and eloquence when speaking of my turds.
For my first exercise I intend to conjure not simply a physical description of my crap for you, but instead invoke every one of your senses. I do not merely want to show you my poop; I want you to touch it; hear it; smell it; taste it; take in the full experience of this most powerful shit as if you were getting hit in the face with a snowball. So, without further ado, I give you

To the Men's Lavatory on the Second Floor of Mugar Library,
And My Contents Therein


Hello.
Hello there.
Hello nine inches of solid brown delight.
You are special.

You are a Qdoba Fajita Ranchera,
After the fact.
You are peppers, wild rice, chopped steak; burrito.

Burrito.

Burrito.

Burrito's always go through smoothly -- without a yelp of a grunt.
"But what kind of salsa?" you ask.
Hot.
Every time; so hot.
Hot like a midday blacktop in July.
Hot like a tamale.
Hot like Shawty on the dance floor.
Hot like a five dollar whore sucking my juices of her porcelain white skin.

And all I had to do was sit,
Pee a little bit,
Then tighten my fists and calves like it was my job.
Like I was trying to move something with my mind.
(Oh yeah, I moved something all right.)
(Wink.)

Gasoline, mothballs, bad fish, sulfur, a skunk, ammonia,
Vomit.
Was ever a scent so foul?

"Plop," it says to me.
"Thank you," my lower intestines say back.

Now you are on your way.
The circle of life continues.

Thank God there wasn't any blood.


Thank you, hope you enjoyed.

Later Days,
Adam LL

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Staying in Touch

So I'm trying this update via email from my blackberry...hopefully it works. I have along night ahead of me with a job netoworking event, tech show dress rehearsal and a big homework assignment. But of course, I need to update the blog first!
We have invited Tom Murphy (Dresden, Germany) and Sam Sklar (Auckland, New Zealand) to join us as foreign poop correspondants. It is my hope that as the poopblog community expands, it will help us all stay in touch. Many of us are graduating in May and possibly moving away, so let this blog be a way to always remain close to one another. What better way to be close than with your pants around your ankles?
I'll end with this: no matter how far away we go or how many years go by, one thing will remain the same: everybody poops.
-Fritz


post PDP poop

I just got back to my apartment after another great PDP workout session and I have to say I'm feeling great. Nice and loose but kinda sore in that awesome way. Anywho I thought, what's the one thing that could enhance this relaxed, semi-euphoric state I'm in? A nice, post PDP but pre-shower blog update.

-Sir Ian

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Updating the blog..... PUN INTENDED!

It's miraculously convenient how perfectly perched your laptop can be in the men's room at 1193 whenever you update the blog! It's at the ideal height too!!

You know, I used to think I didn't have much privacy here because of the rubber duckies in the shower, but now they're turned away from me so I don't feel as invaded. Actually now that I think about it, there are 2 rubber duckies!! Maybe one day when I fill the bathtub in here for a nice bubble bath, I'll play with them.

Ohhh the toilet paper is nice and soft too! Good find in our last Shaw's trip, boys. It's not like the shitty (haha see what I did there?) 1 ply ones BU gives us. Seriously, it feels like I'm wiping my ass with sandpaper sometimes.

http://www.failfunnies.com/29/images/pc-toilet-funny.jpg
--> This is so going in my future house.

Peace and 4-ply,

JMH

first and foremost...

So as I settle into my nest for my first poop post, I want to focus on just that, the nest. The TP nest is an integral part of any public poop sesh. Some friends of mine scoff at my nicely arranged TP topping of the porcelain throne, but I find it eases my mind and keeps my bottom pleasantly warm. A word of caution though for you potential nesters: be sure pieces of your nest don't get caught in the back of your pants when you exit. The last thing you want is a TP tail as you leave the bathroom.

- IJC

Couldn't keep it in any longer...

Hi folks,


Fritz and Ian came up with a brilliant way to say you have to poop without actually saying it AND it relates to our beloved blog!

If you have to poop, just say: I have to update the blog!



Genius right?

This was one big post I just couldn't keep in any longer


oh and I just updated while updating the blog. See what I did there?


-Jur

Check out #11

Number 11 pertains perfectly to this toilet...blog... toilet... blogotoilet...


http://www.cracked.com/photoshop_106_23-grossly-unnecessary-updates-to-modern-products/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+CrackedRSS+%28Cracked%3A+All+Posts%29&utm_content=Google+Reader

To DarlingCarling

Hey thurrr...


So one of our fans, Ms. DarlingCarling, has requested that we "keep 'em coming."


As long as there is poop in our bodies, by God, the poopy posts will drop in this blogotoilet.



-Jur

Songs to Poop To

Good Afternoon Fellow Poopers,

Unsure of what to write about for my first post, I simply turned to my ipod for answers. Here before you are my picks for the Best Songs to Poop To:

10. "Release The Beast" Breakwater. You're getting home from a big dinner and night out and you know there's only one thing to do.

9. "Falling Slowly" The Swell Season. For the gentler, indie pooper.

8. "Tighten Up" Archie Bell & The Drells. For your dad.

7. "You Keep Me Hanging On" The Supremes. You think you just got it all out, but nope, there's still more.

6. "Float On" Modest Mouse. More of a "goodbye poop" song, but still apt for the can.

5. "That Smell" Lynyrd Skynyrd. Oh yeah, you know that smell, we've all been there. The "give it a few minutes before you go in there" smell. Oh yeah.

4. "Keep Pushin" REO Speedwagon. When it's time to really dig deep and make that final heave, that 4th quarter drive, that last lap, you unleash your evil inner high school sports coach.

3. "Patience" Guns 'N Roses. Arguably the most important word for any pooper, young grasshopper.

2. "Free Fallin'" Tom Petty. Seriously, he had to have been writing about pooping.

1. "Drop It Like It's Hot" Snoop Dogg feat. Pharrell. Not even a competition, this is the unanimous winner. Only Snoop could write a song about pooping and turn it into a club/radio hit. Thank you Snoop, thank you.


Honorable Mentions:
"Ring of Fire" Johnny Cash
"Pressure Drop" The Maytals
"Push It" Salt 'N Pepa
"Evacuate" The Shake, Rattle, and Rollers
"Dig In" Lenny Kravitz


Here's to your future endeavors,
Adam

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Technically pooping

At the student theater, and as TD, am technically pooping.


That is all.

Star Wars Episode 2

Attack of the Poop Blog? Nah not as good as Attack of the Man Hands, but as I Imperial Marched my way from work to class I had to make a pit stop. The guy in the stall next to me was having a tough time with that toilet. Dontcha hate when that happens?

Anyways, I'm gonna complete the full poop cycle now by having some panda in my CAD class.

Peace.

-JMH

Not having a good day? Who gives a shit! I do! Literally I am pooping

So I was not having a good day at work so I decided to mosey on over to the bathroom and take a poop.

Did I really HAVE to poop that bad? No.

Did I do it to relax? Maybe. And definitely was able to produce a solid dookie. Kudos me.

Pooping is so very relaxing. The dude next to me (also on his phone, from what I can hear the tapping is from a blackberry) he is not having a relaxing poop. In fact, there is mad strugs going on next door.

Chill out dude! It'll happen.

And now I feel relaxed, centered, and focused. Back to the grind.

-jur

Monday, February 8, 2010

Condoms and Tampons

Oh nothing better than to start off tech week for The Tech Show than a nice poop. And here I wonder: do the dispensers inside of the bathroom at the Student Theater really dispense condoms and tampons? I mean seriously, people? Girls, I understand that every girl has needs every 28 days so I'm not gonna hate on the tampons. If anything, those are quite understandable. But condoms?! Gentlemen, when would we EVER need condoms during tech week?!

Actually.... Now that I think of it, its kind of convenient.

Woo! What a nice poop...

-JMH

Printing status @ Mugar: shitty...

So I'm working my 1-5 shift at Mugar and the servers are slow again today. It was completely down earlier, but IT fixed the problem. Now that it is back up and running, I can enjoy a nice poop. Busy night tonight and hopefully will have time for another relaxing BM

-JUR

Bored in Senior Design class...time to poop (and blog!)

As I listen to Prof. Morty's Isaacsons drone on about shafts and balls and the like, I can't help but not listen. In the meantime, I'm looking up cool ideas for the Angels in America set, and, of course, pooping. Pooping is a great part of the day because it's some of the only real alone time I get (now shared with you readers). And, I don't have to feel like I'm being unproductive, because trust me, I ain't.

Anyway, back to boringness, smell ya later! See what I did there?

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Just pooped...

Just pooped in the Men's bathroom at 1193.


And I maintain, that is the best bathroom BECAUSE of the key placement and height of the sink.

Just so I can rest my head... while pooping



-JUR

The first of many...

Welcome! After I had this brilliant revelation last night to create this blog in leiu of Texts While Pooping, I've been thinking a lot about how I want to start my first entry. I could just pleasure you all with my poop comments (oh yes I'm looking at you guys, the ones that get grossed out by my openness with poop, but let's face it, everyone's shit stinks). But I'm not. I just think a lot when I'm feeding the porcelain gods, usually something ridiculous but today, on Super Bowl Sunday, I leave you with this comment:

Haven't you heard that the bird is the word?!?!

Until next time, everyone.

JMH