What if pooping was something done in public? And something normal, like texting, needed to be done in a stall

After a night at Bryans...

...I just pooped out half an apple pie. Thanks Bryan.

Still in transit...

So, before I started this post, I had a huge dookie on the way out. Like seroius prairie doggage.

But its like so huge, I'm still working to birth this bad mother.


And I might even finish this post before my evacuations come to fruition.




JUR

The Poop Bloggers (Ploogers? Bloopers?) Dilemma

To all my fellow poop bloggers:

There has been one thing I've noticed since we've started this pooptastic blog.


Every time I want to actually post to the blog while pooping, I usually finish pooping before my post is complete. What do I do?

Well, I could finish my post and keep to the integrity of 'texts while pooping' but then I run the risk of pooping setting on my butt and I will be unclean. Not fun.

OR

I could wipe before my post is done but then risk getting fecal coliform bacteria (look that shit up... oh! See what I did there?) on my beloved droid.


Such a catch 22…

JUR

Moving Vehicle Poop

Time: 4:10pm
Location: Somewhere in Connecticut. More specifically, sitting in my seat on my BoltBus ride back to Boston
Mission: Update the blog

Time: 4:12pm
Location: Sitting on the BoltBus toilet while on I-95
Status: Actually sitting down was a feat. Holding onto the handrail for dear life now as I release.

Time: 4:15pm
Location: Same as before.
Status: Finished, but still need to wipe. Too bad the bus driver had to brake and hit my head on the handrail. No concussion, thankfully....that only happens when I pee.

Time: 4:16pm
Location: Still in the stall
Status: Wiping wasn't too bad. But had to lean against the wall as I buttoned my pants back up. The Purell hand sanitizer was a nice touch though, BoltBus.

Time: 4:18pm
Location: Back in my seat
Mission: Accomplished

Chh!

-JMH

pooping in the library in

pooping in the library

in a library, you have to be quiet. its just a rule... but in the bathroom, people are dropping bombs!

With this update, I release all the tension from the last week. I let go of all the stress of my senior project, unload the late nights up studying. No longer do I have to work all day and night and squeeze in quick updates when I can. For this poop, it can take as long as it has to. And for that, I am relieved.
Thank you GSU for providing a throne unto which I can expel the crap that was the last week...and for giving us Panda Express.
Until next time.

From the Massachusetts House of Representatives...

Don't know why it didn't post earlier, but I wrote this at my internship.

From the toilet under the gold dome...

I am taking my first poop break at my first day of my internship at the Massachusetts State House. Literally, decisions about what is going on in MA are happening mere yards away from where I'm pooping.

Such an offical poop.

Gotta wipe and get back to the grind.

-JUR

P.S. Did I mention I'm wearing a suit?

Sunset poop

Surprisingly, that poop did not irritate much at all! Came out smoothly and quickly (no, not in that way you gross people) and it was actually quite pleasant! Although the toilet here is at an awkwardly high position, like in the I'm 5 years old and my feet don't entirely touch the ground kind of way. Its not my ideal pooping height but I'll settle. I'm over it. But anyways, time to socialize. Peace!!

- JMH

Hairy Ape Poops

So I managed to find the bathroom in CFA. I'm about to see fellow poop blog contributor Blueman St. Swing in his show, The Hairy Ape. So now I'm thinking, wouldn't it be fun if we pooped like apes...and, you know, threw feces at each other? Is that what the show is about? I'm tempted not to flush and just bring my turds with me so I can participate in the show. Sound good Adam?

that heavy feeling

Hi all,

I've been busy the past few days, hurrying around trying to do this and that but I just got out of my PDP class and iLm feeling nice and loose. While running on the track this morning I started thinking about how great it feels when you update the blog and leave the bathroom feeling lighter. It's an odd sensation, must be akin to what amputees feel after a limb is removed (except they can have that weird thing where they can still feel it...ick). Anyways I submit to you that that feeling of sudden lightness is on of the best feelings in the world and you can take that to the bank (or the bathroom). That's right Jenny Craig, eat your heart out. Pooping. Makes you feel great, tell your friends.

-Sir Ian

pooping from around the world

today i drank a lot of gassy beer and pooped for a while. in new zealand.

never eat taco bell with

never eat taco bell with a frappuccino

love,
my anus

Senior Design Shits

So I'm sitting in the bathroom outside of Ingalls (on a Saturday), thinking about how much I hate my senior design project. But now that I think about it, it's kind of like pooping. It takes awhile and it's not always fun. You have to push through the tough parts. Youspendmostof the time on internet blogs (hey that's the name of the show!). Everytime you squeeze one out you feel great and relax for a minute. By the time you're done, you feel awesome and all that's left is the cleanup.
Anyway, I thought it was a great comparison. Hey, that one even looks like our pontoon!
Until next time.

First Post

Since it's my first entry, I'm gonna go with a classic:

"Here I sat, broken-hearted,
tried to shit, but I only farted.
I clinched my cheeks, held my knees,
and out came Taco Bell's meat and cheese."

-Celine Dion

Aren't her lyrics just heartwarming? Alright I made those last two lines up, but they were appropriate, since I ate Taco Bell twice yesterday. That's all for now. Stay classy, and wash your hands, you gross motherfucker.

-Eric

"Reading a Magazine"

Totally don't understand why Marshall is so ashamed of pooping at Goliath National Bank. If ya gotta go, ya gotta go, right?! I mean I would feel terrible if I had to wait until after work to poop especially while my lovely turd is prairie-dogging its way out. Anyways, next time I'm pooping at work, I'm so bringing a magazine.

And the snow outside was so pretty after it stopped snowing! As I walked to Belinda's I took a picture of a tree with snow all on the branches. Currently my background on my phone. Yeaaaaaa!!

Oh hey, I need to wipe. Peace out, home skillets!!

-JMH

Snow Day!

My it is snowy day out today!

The snow in Boston is supposed to go on until 10pm tonight, Boston readers, so stay warm.

And as I prepare to venture out into the blizzard, I paused for a moment in the library to take a poop. Let the relaxtion of evacuating your bowels to calm you and motivate you because even though it's a shitstorm outside now, it's better than the shitstorm you just released

Peace, love, and poop

Jur

Post-Tech Show Dumplings

Oh wow, what a weekend. After performing in 3 shows within a matter of about 30 hours, I finally get some alone time to update the blog. There were moments backstage when I was like "damn, I really need to drop the kids off at school now!" But couldn't because I had to go onstage in about 2 minutes. And then eventually I'd just forget! Crazy, I know. As I now contemplate what my costume for HIFBISS is going to be

-grunt- ahhhhhh

I have to say "wow, it has been such an amazing ride this past month!" To all of whom were and will always be in my life, yall be awesome!!

Let's get cruuuunk!!!!

-wipe-

Peace my other dumplings,

JMH

Amazing Race, Not so amazing poops

So today Josh, Carling, Ian ,Taylor, Dani and I ran BU's Amazing Race. And let me tell you, after only chugging water bottles all day and drinking two FitRec smoothies, my poop is anything but solid. I ran the race an now I have the runs.

-jur

Tech Show

Definition: The Tech Show
A show where the techies act, the actors tech and the director poops in the lobby bathroom during Act II.
Show up for the midnight show where all of that happens on stage.